I Drank My Face Serum and This Is What Happened: A Hilarious Journey into Skincare Chaos

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I Drank My Face Serum and This Is What Happened: A Hilarious Journey into Skincare Chaos

History is abuzz with sweeping brushstrokes of conquerors, revolutionaries, and geniuses who made the world what it is today. We learn about their victories, their scripts, their works but come on: if you really want to know them, look into their kitchens instead of their diaries. The food they ate, and avoided, says much more than their books ever could. From mathematicians avoiding beans as if under some sort of curse to emperors eating literal gold, the dining habits of history’s greats are as bizarre as their reputations. It isn’t trivia far from it it’s a glimpse into the idiosyncrasies, fixations, and eccentricities that made them so famous.

Put the stoic portraits and marble statues aside for now. These are numbers that weren’t just building empires or ideologies they were also preparing plates that could boggle even the bravest of eaters. Picture a philosopher shuddering at the very thought of a fava bean or a tech icon turning orange from a carrot overdose. These eating habits share the peculiar crossroads of genius, superstition, and fanatically personal code. Their tables were platforms where their fixations, whims, and beliefs came into fruition in edible form.

So, grab a snack (gold not necessary) and come along on this gastronomic tour of the most bizarre plates in history. Ranging from strange to laughable, these tales reveal how weird eating can get, and how tightly connected to the characters of those who made our world. Get ready to question your kale smoothie decisions as we visit meals that were as quirky as the individuals themselves.

A delicious serving of sesame chicken with fresh green beans on a white plate, perfect for dinner.
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1. Pythagoras: The Mathematician Who Loathed Beans

You likely know Pythagoras as the triangle man of math class, sweating away over theorems and writing symbols on chalkboards. But the ancient Greek mathematician had a profoundly spiritual distaste for beans so strong, it approached existential dread. To Pythagoras, beans weren’t merely food; they were a moral and spiritual conflict zone. He developed a philosophy around their avoidance, centering it in his life and teachings.

  • Thought beans contained human souls and were therefore morally off-limits.
  • Refused to enter bean fields even at the risk of personal harm.
  • Disciplines rigidly adhered to his food rule as part of their code of ethics.
  • A few believe that he was afraid that beans produced gas, which he associated with spiritual uncleanness.
  • His philosophy of beans became legendary and the object of much ancient ridicule.

Pythagoras’s followers accorded beans almost religious dread, renouncing even a tiny bite. His thought interwove mathematics, mysticism, and food taboo in a manner that remains captivating today. The dinner table was merely another domain wherein principles could be tested for him. It’s amazing the way food defined his moral universe. Even under extreme circumstance, he stuck to his dislike, showing a combination of fanaticism and philosophical belief. Beans weren’t just a dislike they were a revelation of mind’s odd but strict logic.

2. Charles Darwin: Gourmet Gone Wild

Before Charles Darwin set sail on the Beagle and rewrote evolution, he was testing flavors in adventures as bold as his science. As a young man at Cambridge, he was a member of a “Gourmet Club,” where the challenge was not Michelin stars but exotic beasts. Hawks, armadillos, and other beasts were open season dinner was as much a test of curiosity as sustenance.

  • Ate animals from iguanas to bitterns for flavor experimentation.
  • Sampled Galápagos tortoises, an experience both useful and memorable.
  • Carefully assessed flavor profiles, paying attention to texture and taste profiles.
  • Expanded the limits of edible wildlife with bold gusto.
  • Deemed some meats unutterable, either in awe or revulsion.

Dining on the Beagle, Darwin’s adventurous appetite echoed his bold intellectual curiosity. Eating was a means of facing the unfamiliar sometimes wonderfully, sometimes gruesomely. Meals were part survival strategy and part playful investigation of the natural world. Darwin’s food experiments remind us that curiosity does not have to be limited to labs. Each mouthful was an opportunity to break barriers, discover, and learn. Next time you’re deciding between an adventurous dish, tap into a little Darwin and boldly step into the unknown.

vases and bottles on shelf
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3. Nikola Tesla: Crackers, Milk, and OCD

Nikola Tesla, the mastermind of the electrical revolution, approached his meals with the same fastidiousness as his tests. His diet was plain milk, plain crackers, and boiled vegetables blissfully boring, systematic, and extremely regimented. Anything with even a whiff of flavor other than the neutral was viewed as a distraction to his brilliance.

  • Polished silverware before a meal as a ritual.
  • Drank milk obsessively, almost as a holy drink.
  • Steamed vegetables such as cauliflower and celery into flavorless mush.
  • Skipped meat, thinking it blurred mental awareness.
  • Thought about food as fuel, not pleasure.

Mealtimes for Tesla were nearly a formula, not an enjoyment. Every aspect of his diet served to reinforce his search for efficiency and mental sharpness. Taste was a distraction; uniformity was paramount. His extreme control over mealtime reflects the obsessive habits that made him brilliant. While mundane to us, his meals were carefully optimized for concentration, demonstrating how personal rituals can define genius in unexpected ways.

a white plate topped with fruits and vegetables
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4. Steve Jobs: Fruitarian Glow-Up (Literally)

Apple visionary Steve Jobs took his design minimalism to the plate. For periods, he lived only on fruit or carrots, convinced the diet would purify his system and make him keener. During this radical fruitarian era, his skin took on a unique orange color, making him a human billboard for Vitamin A.

  • Ate only fruit or carrots over long periods.
  • Carrot diet left his skin with a vibrant orange color, scaring friends.
  • Avoided elaborate meals, thinking simplicity stimulated creativity.
  • Asserted that eating fruit sparked ideas such as the iPod.
  • Would starve for days to “restock” his focus.

Jobs’s regimen was an extension of his perfectionism and doctrine of synchronizing body and mind. Each meal was an expression about simplicity and self-control. Though excessive, Jobs’s diet habits indicate how far he pushed to maximize his creative power. It’s a weird, warning story of the intersection of ambition, health fads, and personal philosophy.

poached egg with vegetables and tomatoes on blue plate
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5. Lord Byron: Vinegar and Crackers Diet Plan

Lord Byron, the Romantic poet, was consumed by maintaining a thin physique. His diet was austere: vinegar diluted with water and dry toast were the mainstays of his meals. This diet wasn’t about how he felt it was about how he looked, a means of keeping his dramatic, thin persona.

  • Consumed vinegar thinking it would burn fat (spoiler: it didn’t).
  • Skipped meat, considering it food for the masses.
  • Starved himself while composing poetry.
  • Encouraged fans to emulate his thin, tragic look.
  • Frequently fainted but euphemized as “poetic exhaustion.”

Byron’s fixation with thinness was close to performative, blurring his art with body control. Eating for him was an identity ritual, constructing his body in accordance with his literary identity. His vinegar-and-toast diet is a period reminder of the ways in which fashion, vanity, and mania can distort daily existence. Though ridiculous, it is unmistakably Byron: dramatic, fanatical, and impossible to ignore.

a long loaf of sesame seed bread on a cutting board
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6. Caligula: Gold-Plated Glutton

Roman Emperor Caligula made dining into performance art. Gold bread, animal feasts, and foreign meats weren’t meals they were statements of power. Caligula’s table was where luxury, absurdity, and psychological warfare blurred.

  • Ate bread crafted from solid gold as a statement of power.
  • Featured exotic meats like peacock for show.
  • Had guests entertained by animals at the table.
  • Meals were not about taste, but about presentation.
  • Feasts were part of financial pressures on the empire.

His gastronomic excesses are a reminder that wealth has the power to turn everyday activities such as eating into performance events. Caligula’s style demonstrates how food can manifest as power in the most lavish forms. Eating with Caligula wasn’t about sustenance it was a tutorial in status, domination, and outlandish spectacle, a precedent for decadence set in imperial history.

Assorted grilled meat skewers served with fresh salsa and seasoning on a wooden table.
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7. Francis Bacon: Deadly Freezer Tinkerer

Sir Francis Bacon, the inventor of the scientific method, didn’t confine experimentation to theory he experimented with food preservation as well. Addicted to testing theory, he once fed a chicken snow to find out if extreme cold would preserve it. Part daring science, part pure folly, and completely tragic.

  • Bought a live chicken from a local woman to use for his test.
  • Burying it in snow, attempting to unlock the secret of refrigeration.
  • Disregarded the freezing weather, concentrated only on the meat.
  • Caught pneumonia from being out in the cold.
  • His experiment failed but opened the door for future ideas on food preservation.

Bacon’s chicken adventure into the snow illustrates the extremes of curiosity. Even when his own health was at stake, he went after knowledge unrelentingly. His fixation proved that minds behind science often forget the boundary between genius and folly. Unfortunately, the pneumonia took him at an early age, shortening a life of innovation. But this story remains both cautionary and inspiring: even a failed experiment can have a lasting legacy.

8. Salvador Dalí: Lobster on the Loose

Salvador Dalí, master surrealist, made dining an art form. His dinner parties were events in which lobsters scurried over tabletops and stuffed goats perched on centerpieces. To Dalí, food wasn’t merely sustenance it was a canvas, a way of delivering shocking, entertaining, and defying guests’ expectations.

  • Hosted dinner parties with live animals, such as lobsters and birds.
  • Released Les Dîners de Gala, a cookbook of surreal, avant-garde dishes.
  • Encouraged guests to wear eccentric costumes matching the chaos.
  • Served bizarre dishes like “Thousand-Year-Old Eggs.”
  • Treated meals as an artistic extension of his visual philosophy.

Dalí’s approach reminds us that eating can transcend utility, becoming an expression of creativity. Every dinner was a surrealist statement, inviting both awe and discomfort. His culinary imagination blurred boundaries between art and dining. Even decades later, his parties inspire chefs and artists to think outside conventional menus. Dining, in Dalí’s hands, was nothing short of theatrical genius.

a piece of sushi sitting on top of a blue and white plate
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9. Sigmund Freud: Cocaine & Eel Enthusiast

Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis, had a diet as quirky as his ideas. Eels were his fixation, in conjunction with cocaine, which he considered a panacea. Tea laced witFreud’s strange diet is evidence of his adventurous curiosity about the human body and mind. His dietary choices were as adventurous as his psychological explorations, often bordering on the fanatic. Though shocking by today’s standards, Freud’s gastronomical foibles are an indication of how entwined private tics and professional brilliance can become. Even in something as fundamental as food, he pioneered boundaries.

  • Most significant idiosyncrasies of Freud’s diet:
  • Preoccupation with eels
  • Use of cocaine as a “panacea”
  • Tea frequently spiked with unlikely additives
  • Experimentation with his own body and mind

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, also had an as-unconventional-as-his-theories diet. From an obsession with eels to trying cocaine as a so-called cure-all, and even spiced tea with unusual ingredients, his diet was as adventurous as his forays into the human psyche. These offbeat selections illustrate how individual peculiarity can become entwined with professional genius, pushing the limits even of mundane things in life.

10. Cleopatra: Vinegar Gold Cocktail Connoisseur

Cleopatra, Egypt’s last queen, made eating an act of performance and diplomacy. Her mythic pearl-in-vinegar trick, done to dazzle Mark Antony, was spectacle as much as it was extravagance. Foods were deliberately chosen to adorn, impress, and demonstrate her authority.

  • Ate pearls in vinegar as a show of extravagance and daring.
  • Offered rare fruits, honey cakes, and fermented beverages at feasts.
  • Used food to sway allies and enemies.
  • Designed meals as acts of symbolism.
  • Employed elaborate presentation to support her legendary status.

For Cleopatra, meals weren’t insignificant meals were an expression of power and charisma. Every morsel was a deliberate act of power, wealth, and strategy. Her food exploits are a reminder that even the simple act of eating can be political. Cleopatra made the performance out of food, and acts of bold gestures were turned into historical legend.

11. Bobby Fischer: Raw Egg Milkshake Fanatic

Bobby Fischer, chess whiz, approached eating like checkers moves savagely and calculated. Blended raw eggs into milk or juice became his breakfast of champions, providing mental endurance without keeping a careful eye on what he put in his body. Eating out at public restaurants was taboo because of paranoia, so home cooking was the rule.

  • Ate raw eggs for mental acuity and endurance.
  • Refused to eat out in public for fear of being poisoned.
  • Mixed eggs with milk or juice ritually.
  • Exercised strict dietary control similar to his chess regimen.
  • Thought diet was the key to maximum intellectual performance.

Fischer’s strange meals were a physical extension of his preoccupation with strategy. Mealtimes became a preparation ritual, a means to prepare his mind for competition. His passion for raw eggs appears excessive, but it indicates the way in which genius is accompanied by rigorous personal rituals. For Fischer, even a breakfast smoothie was an extension of his virtuosity.

white ceramic mug on saucer beside silver spoon
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12. Voltaire: Coffee Addict Extraordinaire

Voltaire, the Enlightenment philosopher, essentially lived on coffee. Forty cups daily sustained his writing, arguments, and humor. His coffee-fueled life turned him into a human espresso machine, amalgamating intelligence and hyperactivity into a legendary character.

  • Consumed as much as 40 cups of coffee every day.
  • Added chocolate to make an 18th-century mocha energy jolt.
  • Used caffeine to blast through writing and political discourses.
  • Puzzled his friends with his overconsumption.
  • Lived to age 83 in spite of his crazy coffee addiction.

Coffee wasn’t merely a beverage for Voltaire it was a tool of productivity and satire. Each cup cleared his head and spurred his writing. His incessant use is both hilarious and motivating. Voltaire shows us that an amount (or amount) of caffeine can be the secret ingredient in forming a mind that alters the world.

13. Julius Caesar: Flamingo Tongue Addict

Roman statesman and general Julius Caesar introduced his ambition. Flamingo tongues and stuffed dormice were foods of luxury and status. For Caesar, eating was half politics, half prestige, and half flavor.

  • Ate rare foods to show wealth and power.
  • Served up stuffed dormice and other fine foods at grand feasts.
  • Brought exotic spices from around the empire.
  • Utilized food as a tool of impressing subordinates and allies.
  • Made dining a demonstration of power.

To Caesar, consuming food conveyed power. Each bite of something exotic served as a reminder that he could have something that other people could not. His food picks affirm the connection between status, wealth, and power in ancient Rome. Flamingo tongues might seem strange today, but to Caesar, they were a political point made on a plate.

Julius Caesar, legendary Roman soldier-statesman, transformed dining into a display of ambition and status. Flaming tongues, stuffed mice, and other exotic delicacies weren’t merely meals they were declarations of wealth, power, and influence. For Caesar, food was both a political instrument and source of taste, demonstrating his mastery and making an impression on allies and subordinates alike.

Elegant vintage dining room featuring chandeliers, ornate decor, and a long table with chairs.
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14. Tycho Brahe: Tipsy Elk Dinner Companion

Tycho Brahe, the star mapper whose charts were renowned for their precision, was a man who enjoyed the unusual. His elk pet was a regular party guest, and the animal consumed beer and socialized with noblemen. Tycho’s life was part science, part eccentricity, part showmanship, and this was perfectly mirrored in his table manners.

  • Hosted elk as dinner guests, occasionally drunk for entertainment purposes.
  • Blended nobles and jesters in rowdy feasts.
  • Wore a gold-and-silver prosthetic nose following a duel.
  • Found eccentricity and spectacle at every meal.

Transformed dining into an unforgettable experience that combined science and theater. Even when his elk came to a tragic demise, Tycho kept having his unruly dinner parties. His table reflected his mind: unconventional, genius, and full of surprises. Tycho’s banquets remind us that curiosity and creativity aren’t always confined to the laboratory. The dinner table is sometimes the ideal platform for genius and a pinch of anarchy.

Closing Down the Feast

Pythagoras’s bean ban of mystical significance and Caligula’s bread gilded in gold are just a few examples of how geniuses and leaders through the ages have intermingled eccentricity of appetite with brilliance. These meals were not just food they were statements of personality, philosophy, and power.

  • Unconventional diets tended to mirror individual beliefs or aspirations. 
  • Food decisions uncover the idiosyncrasies that fueled past success.
  • Numerous tests and indulgences had symbolic significance.
  • Quirky meals shed light upon the genius’s psychology.
  • There are numerous historical examples of strange, memorable eating patterns.

So the next time you stand before your own fridge and consider a dubious yogurt, recall: you’re not gulping down pearls in vinegar like Cleopatra or mixing raw eggs like Fischer. Those tales remind us that a dash of weirdness whether over the dinner plate or through life may very well be part of greatness. Here’s to the strange, the ambitious, and the utterly inedible. Here’s to hoping your own food adventures are a little less gold-plated and a whole lot tastier. History proves that occasionally the strangest meals make the best tales.

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