Today, in a world where personal expression constantly runs into social expectation, dress codes are among the most hotly contested battlefields. They’ve been enforced in schools, workplaces, and even nightclubs but the latest tinder found its way into an unexpected place: a women’s gym.
A recent TikTok video created by content creator and author Kerry Schwartz has everyone abuzz. Her encounter with being harassed over her gym attire has resonated on a deeper level than some good old-fashioned gym politeness. It has re-opened years of dialogue surrounding body image, safe space, and the quiet ways in which women continue to be judged sometimes even by women themselves.
The Confrontation at the Gym
Schwartz, 37, is no stranger to publicly sharing. The Series of Unfortunate Men author and experienced creator has a tendency to publicly document her life. But even she wasn’t prepared for what happened during an ordinary workout session.
She arrived at her women-only, private-owned gym wearing what the majority would consider to be normal workout gear: white sports bra, bright yellow spandex butt-lift style legging (the infamous now-“TikTok” butt-lift aesthetic), and running shoes. Nothing wild, nothing provocative. However, during the middle of her workout, the owner of the gym approached her appearing uncomfortable and told her, very heavily,
“I am truly sorry that we must have this conversation, but you appear to be making a couple of women uncomfortable with the leggings you’re wearing.”
The tone, she recalled, was firm, almost scolding. For Schwartz, who has battled body dysmorphia and body dysphoria in the gym setting for years, this was devastating. She had found at last a place where she felt secure, only to have that sense of security taken away from her in an instant.
“Never want to be back there again,” she admitted in her video, trembling.
The Question That Changed Everything
What Schwartz was curious about and what she inquired directly of the owner was simple: How are my leggings offensive, precisely?
The response wasn’t much of an answer. The manager only said that “more than one” woman had complained, and that the leggings were “distracting” and “offensive.” No further details. No reference to any dress code policy at all. Just vague discomfort on the part of other people.
Schwartz was not having it. “I wasn’t wearing something inappropriate,” she explained, holding up her very outfit for her audience to behold. It was not like “walking around in a thong,” she explained, but she was still being treated as if she’d crossed a boundary with her clothing.
The Irony of a Women-Only Space
The sting in this case was compounded by the environment. Women’s gyms exist only because the majority of women would want to exercise without being judged, leered at, or sexually harassed by the male gaze. This was where Schwartz was supposed to find her haven.
“When I found a gym that I was comfortable with, and that I loved, it changed my life,” she said.
Instead, what she faced was judgment not from men, but women. It posed the uncomfortable question: Can spaces that are women-only mirror the same kind of critique they were established to guard against?
Online Reactions: A Wave of Support
The reaction online was quick and overwhelmingly in Schwartz’s support. Comments flooded in, with most people shocked that her clothing was deemed inappropriate to begin with.
Another gym owner commented this way: “Nothing wrong with what you’re wearing. The only thing that’s wrong is their insecurities.”
Some of her numerous fans also supported her: “You look wonderful. Don’t let other people bring you down that way. You’re lovely keep going, and dress the way you want.”
A frequent gym-goer who had been going to gyms for 25 years wrote: “I’ve been in gyms for 25 years and NEVER seen something like this. This is all about feelings, not facts.”
On TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter, the sentiment was the same: what Schwartz experienced wasn’t about dress it was about projection, insecurity, and misplaced judgment.
The Larger Context: Women Policing Women
Why Schwartz’s experience is unique is that it steers clear of the familiar script of women wearing “too distractingly” around men. Her leggings were criticized by women.
This alludes to a greater tension. Women’s safe spaces should be places where they are able to get away from judgment, but occasionally that judgment slips through the back door. Whether rooted in insecurity, comparison, or simply competing ideas of modesty, the result can be just as devastating.
It also demonstrates precisely how subjective terms like “offensive” and “distracting” really are. What is provocative to one person is perfectly normal to another. If there is no strict rule, there is arbitrariness in enforcing dress codes and it is typically disadvantageously aimed at women with a particular shape or type of attire.
Another Case: Marny in Germany
Schwartz’s story is not an isolated one. In Germany, 22-year-old law student Marny found herself in the same boat. Her crime? Wearing a crop top and loose pants that revealed a sliver of midriff.
A female staffer told her the attire was “distracting” and “confusing the men in the gym.” Unlike Schwartz, Marny’s reprimand explicitly invoked the male gaze another case of women being asked to alter their attire to accommodate others’ desires.
The backlash was fierce. Supporters came to her defense, with one such viral quote nailing it:
“Men should stay home until they can get a grip. It’s not women’s responsibility to police their emotions.”
The thread connecting both Schwartz and Marny’s experiences is that women’s clothing continues to be policed either in the guise of men’s distraction or women’s discomfort.
Why the “Leggings Problem” Matters
It is easy to dismiss events like these as trivial spats about gym etiquette, but they are manifestations of larger cultural trends. Women have been taught for decades that their clothing is open to moral or social criticism even when the choices about what to wear are entirely practical.
The prevalence of so-called “TikTok leggings” those designed to be flattering, fashion-forward, and comfortable has only fueled the flames. Something that was once another piece of athletic wear has been charged with assumptions: that women who wear them are seeking attention, flaunting their bodies, or breaking unspoken decency rules.
But all in all, leggings are leggings. As Schwartz herself noted, her body may “stand out more” in them, but that doesn’t mean shaming.
Redefining “Safe Spaces”
If there is one lesson from this debacle, it’s the necessity to rethink what a real safe space is. A safe space must be:
- Judgment-free. No one needs to feel singled out because of their body type or wardrobe.
- Consistency in rules. If there is a dress code, it should be clear, posted, and consistently enforced not randomly enforced.
- Empowerment, not restriction. Women’s gyms, at the very least, should seek to establish self-confidence, not undermine it.
When these rules are broken, the whole foundation of safety crumbles, leaving someone like Schwartz feeling betrayed.
Beyond the Gym Walls
At its core, Schwartz’s story isn’t one of a legging. It’s one of how quickly judgment can invade where room for support exists. It’s one of how shaming the body can live in subtle ways, disguised as language like “distracting.” And it’s one of the collective responsibility we hold to make empowerment not dependent.
The groundswell of support for Schwartz on the internet suggests that individuals are ready for change. They demand the gyms, and society in general, to stop micromanaging women’s clothing and instead start focusing on what truly counts: health, community, and confidence.
Final Thoughts
The soap opera at the women’s-only gym could be a small-town misunderstanding. But in perspective, it’s a harsh reminder of how much farther we still need to go toward mainstreaming women’s control of their own bodies and closets.
Kerry Schwartz’s leggings were not supposed to be a controversy. And in fueling it, her experience has prompted a wider accounting for what “safe spaces” really are, and whether they’re living up to their promise.
The path towards real inclusivity and empowerment where women can travel, dress, and be without reproach is still being walked. And sometimes, it just takes a simple pair of yellow leggings to jog our memories on just how much more work remains to be done.
