We’ve all been there: thousands of feet up, trying to relax, only to be serenaded by a child’s meltdown right behind you, complete with wails and energetic foot-thuds. Before you react with annoyance, let’s explore what’s actually going on and how we can all contribute to a more peaceful flight experience.
Understanding Children’s Temper Tantrums on Flights
Temper tantrums are a completely normal developmental phase for children, a way for them to navigate a world that doesn’t always cater to their immediate desires. As Dr. Jennifer Katzenstein, Director of Psychology and Neuropsychology at Johns Hopkins Children’s Hospital, explains, understanding the root of these outbursts is the crucial first step toward managing them effectively.
Typically, these emotional storms pass within five to fifteen minutes, after which children usually bounce back as if nothing happened. But imagine this happening in the confined space of an airplane, with a cabin full of tired passengers as your audience – it presents a unique challenge.
Strategies for Managing and Dealing with Tantrums on Flights
Dr. Katzenstein suggests that remaining calm and actively ignoring the tantrum is often the best approach. This involves disengaging without eye contact, redirecting the child’s attention to other activities, and essentially pretending the tantrum isn’t happening, which is especially tricky in public settings like airplanes where such behavior can feel amplified.
You might wonder if ignoring bad behavior is the right approach, and the answer is yes, in this context. Our attention can inadvertently reinforce negative actions. By withholding that attention during a tantrum, we avoid strengthening it, and then, once the child calms down, acknowledging their positive behavior with specific praise, like “Thank you for sitting so nicely,” reinforces the desired conduct.
Parents, if your next family flight is causing anxiety, there are proactive steps you can take. Preparing for potential triggers and sticking to your child’s daily routine as much as possible can help prevent meltdowns before they even start. Giving a five-minute warning before transitions, offering simple choices, and ensuring basic needs like hunger and sleep are met can make a significant difference.
But what about those of us who aren’t parents or whose children are past this stage? This is where empathy and understanding become our superpowers. Recognizing that toddler tantrums are a normal developmental phase, not a reflection of poor parenting, can foster greater patience. A compassionate smile instead of a frown can significantly ease a parent’s stress, as they’re often feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed.
If a tantrum escalates to a point where the child might harm themselves or others, it’s appropriate for parents to intervene, perhaps by moving to a more private space if possible. As fellow passengers, we can also offer support – maybe by helping with bags, offering a brief distraction, or simply sharing a kind word.
Ultimately, the goal is to foster mutual support and understanding. Traveling with children is inherently challenging, and raising them takes a village, even at 35,000 feet. By staying calm, extending empathy, and understanding the developmental reasons behind a child’s distress, we can all contribute to a more peaceful journey for everyone on board.
So, the next time you find yourself sharing a flight with a little one having a tough time, take a deep breath, find your inner calm, and consider how you can contribute to making the journey smoother for everyone. After all, we’re all in this together, and a little patience and understanding can ensure a peaceful sky for all travelers.
